Romantic relationships dawned with the ‘want’ for that opposite sex who made the other ‘feel’ a certain type of way. A way that could only be tamed and satiated with having that one, or claiming that one as his’ or her’s.
The histories of relationships fall back to people wanting to feel valued by someone else.
A lot has changed on the perspective of what a relationship is, and should be. Some people look forward to relationships because they either feel lonely, desperate, or they need someone to love them so they feel valuable and worthy. These feelings that lead a man or woman to a relationship, never make the relationship work. If it does work, the partners (who genuinely want to be together) must have done a lot of ‘work’ together.
Unhealthy feelings about oneself, insecurities, the lack of self-respect and/or self-compassion, self-love, will make one settle for less in a relationship. You don’t want that.
You don’t deserve that.
Society has taught us to emotionally depend on our partner when, in fact, a stable relationship should include giving space, and respecting each other. But love is blind, and we often ignore the signs that a relationship is becoming harmful.
If you identify with most of them, maybe it’s time to rethink your relationship.
- They don’t let you go out with your friends.
You barely see your friends, and when you do, you always bring your partner along. If this sounds familiar, it could be a warning sign. You have to understand that sometimes a relationship needs space to grow. It is necessary to give each other space to keep from drowning in the relationship.
Spending a lot of time together is like an addiction and is common in that first phase of love. But we must try not to stifle the relationship from the beginning or it may turn into a martyrdom.
- They control your wallet.
Trust is essential, but you always have to put yourself first. What if the relationship ends and your partner has been managing your money? What would you live on? Economic violence is a form of domination.
It’s perfectly normal for a couple to share experiences and goods. A solution is to combine some of your income into a single pot but to also have separate money.
- They go through your phone.
Going through each other’s phones and e-mails is not normal. It’s not proof of love: it’s an invasion of privacy and a sign of an unhealthy relationship. This kind of controlling behavior can isolate partners and even lead to domestic abuse. You have to learn to trust each other because trust is what healthy relationships are built on.
- They tell you how to dress.
To have stability in a relationship you must start by loving and respecting yourself.
Your partner doesn’t like the way you dress? It’s not up to them to decide. You dress for yourself, not for others. Developing your sense of self-confidence may be difficult, but it’s essential for a healthy relationship.
- They get angry when it takes you too long to answer the phone.
If you feel that this attitude is not harmful, we suggest you remember that a relationship should give you peace of mind, not negative feelings. If you tremble with fear every time you see a missed call from your partner, something is wrong.
- They are jealous of your best friend.
Jealousy is a disease. It’s true that sometimes we make jokes about it, but when the jokes become serious, it is better to flee. If your partner doesn’t trust you, there will never be stability.
- You’re afraid to say what’s on your mind.
To love is to be happy, not to be afraid. Your partner should be someone you can confide in, not someone you are afraid to talk to.
Don’t be afraid to say what you think, and have respect for a differing point of view. In the end, having different opinions brings richness and diversity to the relationship.
- They insult you.
There are limits that once crossed, there is no turning back. Therefore it’s best to never cross them. Does your partner repeatedly criticize and insult you and it has become a common situation? Well, you should not allow it to be that way. If you start a relationship, set rules for yourself, like never to insult your partner. If they insult you, do not fall for that game. You’re better than that.
- Your friends have tried to warn you.
If so, listen to them. It’s often difficult to look at a situation objectively, but our family or friends may have a clearer idea because they see it from a different angle.
If they notice you’re often sad, quiet, or distracted, they are probably seeing a problem that you refuse to see.
So, what is a healthy relationship?
A healthy relationship is composed of numerous things including safety, support, and mutual respect. You must understand that unhealthy jealousy is not a sign of love. Learn to respect and love yourself and to realize what you deserve, as all your relationships are a mirror of your inner love.
Source: Bright Side