I have been quite emotional these days, and that is why it was so easy for my eyes to well with tears while watching the scene where Ingrid was making her ‘last’ video, showing the world who she really was, before she swallowed the whole bottle of pills and downed it with a beer, right after which she lay to the death she wanted, in “Ingrid Goes West.”
That scene brought tears to my eyes for a couple of reasons;
• That very moment.
• That there are millions of people who don’t see themselves.
• That there are millions of people who still don’t love themselves.
• That there are millions of people who have the thought of ending their lives, so it can be a lot easier, running through their minds on a daily.
• That there are people who make it harder for people like that to want to appreciate themselves, and live.
• That there are people who want to get better, do better, live better, think better, but don’t know how to.
If YOU are reading this, please understand that first, you are a human being before you are anything else. And yes, this human that you are is not perfect. This human that you are has flaws, mistakes, a soft spot, the craving for the thought alone, that you matter in this world, or at least, to someone.
I can relate with desolation. I was there more than once a couple years back. I know how it felt. I know how it didn’t feel. One thing I was grateful for is that I didn’t think killing myself would make things better. I’m not sure I even thought of it at all. Why?
I had my blank pages to help me. I wrote, every letter of sadness, pain, misunderstanding, fear, need, that clogged my heart. I wrote them out.
Writing was my therapy. Thankfully now, writing isn’t still my only therapy. Learning, also is.
I learn more about myself everyday, about the idea of love, the idea of loving myself, the idea of appreciating who I am as a person. Acknowledging my flaws, my temperaments. Being aware of my zodiac. Everything that matters, especially who people are, and why they act the way they do.
I’m still learning, about life’s challenges, spirituality, meaning, depth, patience, understanding, wisdom.
I no longer compare myself with other people (people i see on social media), not because they may be living fake lives, or just putting up appearances. I no longer compare myself with them because I am my own person. I am different, beautiful inside and out, loving, charitable, thoughtful, forgiving, and all my good qualities I have acknowledged and appreciated.
So, I guess in all of this, what i’m trying to say is STOP!
Stop thinking negatively. Stop trying to live as what you are not. Stop trying to look for self validity in the ‘ok’ of others. Stop hating yourself. Stop seeking reassurance.
Start appreciating who you are. Start learning. Start growing. Start living.
Because the world needs you.
You need you.
So, just stop, and find better solutions.
Self-acknowledgement can have the power of making us feel good, strong, at peace, independent, self-confident, empowered and more, while Understanding is simply having sympathetic awareness, and tolerance.
When you meet people, show real appreciation, then genuine curiosity.
Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have. And as we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is to not utter words, but to live by them.