Women are very attention seeking, especially when they do not have their hands full with work. But don’t be fooled, that ambitious women would do without it. They also want attention, the attention that support leeches on.
Supporting an ambitious African woman will take a lot of patience, considering her personality as well. There would be mood swings, frustration, anger, tears, all in one emotional roller-coaster you will be on, as her partner.
Hold on to it, support her, and find out more ways to.
Women are going beyond traditional roles of stay-at-home moms and caretakers, and building careers outside teaching and nursing. Through legislation and promotion of gender equality at work (which still has a long way to go), women have been catapulted to an unprecedented level of success both financially and socially.
A lot of women are venturing into the jungle of entrepreneurship, starting their own businesses in the pursuit of becoming Motherland Moguls. The men who love these women may either be intimidated by their drive or, are cool calling “shotgun” and letting their lady do her thing.
If you are in the ‘shotgun’ group, here are 5 practical things to do to show your support for a Trap Queen in your life; things she probably wouldn’t ask you for but would appreciate.
1. Be her CEO
Before you quit your day job know that I am talking about Chief Evangelical Officer. Spread the “gospel” of her business to your friends, family, colleagues, people in a queue at the bank. When you start up, there is usually not much of a budget for marketing so you rely a lot on word of mouth and referrals.
Share links to her business on your social media, and have a couple of her business cards in your wallet and car. If you know someone in her field, hound that person until they meet with her. Recommend her business to supply a service to your employer.
When you start your own business, there is very little money for luxuries. We have all read about entrepreneurs living on bread and eggs or eating cereal with water. She is a Trap Queen so she will never ask and she has the basics covered.
However, she will appreciate some of her favourite pre-hustle treats once in a while. I’m not suggesting that you go and fill a trolley because that would actually infuriate her. She doesn’t need to be rescued, but wouldn’t mind being spoiled.
She may live at home with her folks so housing is not necessary, but you can fill her tank with gas so she can get to meetings. This is not a closed list. You know what your Queen needs.
3. Give her space. Lots of it.
Being an entrepreneur is a lonely path and that’s how entrepreneurs actually prefer it. When its time to strategise, plan, and envision the future, please do not disturb. If things aren’t going well and we need to lick our wounds, we often retreat into our caves.
Entrepreneurs do not work a 9-5, they work as the need arises: their laptop is their office, they work overnight and sleep during the day. Taking calls or replying texts can break focus or creativity, which entrepreneurs need.
Don’t be upset when she doesn’t call or text back in 24 hours and under no circumstances is it ever acceptable to be needy or nag her.
Realise and accept that if an opportunity comes along, she will need to invest time in it so you must never make her choose between you and it.
4. Be secure
Networking is the lifeblood of entrepreneurship. You need to be known in your field because the playing fields aren’t equal. Owners of startups need to be beating the streets of the cities, pushing business cards into the hands that could later sign their cheques.
It’s undeniable that men are the leaders of the business world therefore women will inevitably spend time with them for professional purposes. Most of these events take place after hours or on weekends so you need to be secure enough to let her go. Some weekends dates will have to be cancelled because she finally landed a networking opportunity with someone she has been trying to meet for ages.
Alternatively, you may have to accompany her to a black tie event where she will leave you with a table of strangers so she can talk to her potential investors. In those instances, be a big boy and network for yourself!
5. Hold her hand
As mentioned above, entrepreneurship can be a very lonely road and it does get very hard before it gets easier. Singer John Legend once said, “the world is beating you down, I’m around in every mood.” I don’t think that means PMS but times of fear, failure, joy, triumph, loss, betrayal, anxiety and insecurity.
Holding her hand also means keeping her accountable because entrepreneurs are dreamers tend to be passionate about their project. But they can also get carried away with flighty thoughts. This why you need to reign her in sometimes.
Finally, in case you haven’t figured it out it yet, her networking will also help you meet new people who can change your life too. So invest in your Trap Queen and watch her build the empire.