Conversations from my Inbox

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In my previous post, I shared a conversation between an anonymous lady and I about personal, troubling matters that pushed her to commit suicide. 

Gratefully, it was a failed attempt.

I have always welcomed the thought of sharing my knowledge and helping others overcome challenges at mind, body, and at heart.

Infact, I live for it. 

With this conversation, I hope you can learn and unlearn a thing or two like we both did, from this lady’s story.

Below is the continuation of our conversation. Read my last post to start from the beginning. 

You are welcome to share your thoughts as well, in the comment section. 

FROM MY INBOX

Anonymous:

Ego! Thank u for replying

U are right.   I have 2 love myself n find myself.. truth be told i have 4gotten wats its like 2 love myself or 2 truly be happy

I attempted suicide some months back n that was like a wake up call 2 everyone myself included dat i was really damaged inside..

Hmmn . I never used 2 b this way but i think i let my guard down, i let myself feel n den my troubles started!

I regret it everyday but how can do you hate d one feeling dat makes u feel alive???

Tell me Ego

How do u fix wats been broken 4 too long dat it has become rusty

In shorts,, how do u re do wats been done

Ego:

Darling,

It’s okay to let your guards down sometimes. It’s okay to feel, to hurt, to cry. You’re only human afterall. What matters is that you get yourself back up. Live, Love, and celebrate who you are.

I’m sorry you felt depressed to the extent that you risked losing your life. That shows how much the love for yourself, is far down the drain. You need to live darling. Look back on the mistakes you’ve made, understand why they happened. Understand why you allowed them happen. Understand why you should move forward from them.

If you keep running from your past, you will keep falling, and into those same feelings of disgust, anger, fear, and what not. Face those fears dear. Face your demons. Have tea with them. Allow them teach you what you should know. Come to terms with what you’ve done, and strive everyday darling, to be better. Strive everyday, to do better.

I won’t be dishonest with you, and tell you it’s going to be easy. It’s not. It will take a lot of work, determination, and strength. Do you have those? Ask yourself that. Because even if I believe you do, you have to believe it yourself. You have to believe that you can. You have to WANT it for yourself.

You can’t “redo what’s been done”. You can do something.

What then is it that you want to do?

Anonymous:

Truth is i dunno wat i wanna do.. sometimes i feel i need a break.. a vacation of some sorts, but then i can’t run from my mind, i take it with me everywhere.

I try 2 stay busy but i still drift back Ego!.. its gonna take a lotta work n i get scared dat i’ll never b ready 2 evolve

Yes i’ll get older but growth?.. i dunno

I feel i need help!

I know how 2 get out of this never ending maze but m comfy being stuck in it

Pathetic isn’t it?

Ego:

Anonymous,

First, I would prefer you stop talking to yourself harshly.

Not everyone is ever ready for the bigger and most important things. These are the scariest because they are everything. They are that important.

The moment you get a grip on yourself, and decide that what I want to do, what I want to focus on, is ‘Myself’, you Anonymous, will have taken a huge step forward. A step closer to a life of happiness.

Love yourself first.

You can’t stop the flow of the many thoughts that fill your mind, but you can choose which ones stay, and which ones you let consume you.

Tell me, which would you choose.

You, or your demons?

Anonymous:

Hey Ego

Good morning

Its difficult not 2 choose my demons cuz av become so familiar with them

I wanna choose myself tho cuz i want happiness too

I deserve it.. even if its just a lil bit of it.

People often say i should get so busy dat i 4get wat goes on in my insides but if i do dat m just blocking out d problems n not solving it  n m only gonna become distant 4rm my peers..

But prolly dar could work too??

Ego:

I want to you reread all my responses to you Anonymous.

Immerse all I have written to you.

Don’t want to choose to love yourself. Choose to.

There’s no such thing as deserving a little bit of happiness. You deserve all the happiness.

Again, come to terms with your past and your demons, drink tea with them, make peace with them, and learn from them.

Love yourself Anonymous. If you want to be happy in this world. Truly happy, you have got to love yourself first, and see how much you matter.

When you start to love yourself each day, you will start to feel better, and your life will get better.

So dear, don’t make anymore excuses.

Anonymous:

Happy New Year Ego!

I reread all your responses and i know what 2 do. I am going 2 love myself so much more than i did in 2018 and i know that God has got a plan 4 me this year.

I am trying to give bk 2 people exactly what dey give 2 me , i will no longer stress over people that do not make me happy cuz i need Peace this 2019..

I had a fall out with a friend.. i wanna make peace with her but i dunno how to and 2 b honest a larger part of me says its 4 d best!

Anyways thank u 4 all u do Ego!

Ego:

God bless you darling.

I’m glad.

Find peace, Find love.

Then breathe.

Love, Ego.

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